The scene opens in Zyliss' hotel room the evening after Chaos. Scattered about on the floor are about 5 or 6 large pizza boxes, empty, and Zyliss sits at the table, working on yet another greasy, disgusting pizza. What a fat bastard. But there has to be a purpose behind this pizza binge, or it could be that he's just a fat bastard. Either way, let's tune in and listen to him eat! ... Okay, that was boring. Let's come back later when he's finished.
The scene fades to black, then returns moments later. Of course, we're trying to get the viewers of this crap believing that a significant amount of time has passed- and judging by the now 10, maybe 11 empty pizza boxes on the floor, it has. My God it's disgusting.
Fade to black.
The scene fades in on Zyliss again, this time about 14 large, empty pizza boxes and a an empty 12 pack of pepsi scattered about the floor. This truly is disgusting. He really is a fat bastard. Zyliss lies on the bed, relaxed. He seems a little too relaxed, but I guess that happens after a large meal. Okay, he's asleep. There I said, you happy now? Christ! I try to do my job and narrate this piece of crap, but you just can't let me do that can you? CAN YOU?! But who the hell are you to judge me? It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! (Authors Note: Did I quote that right? LOL!)
Fade to black again.
We return yet again the next day. Zyliss is covered from neck to toe in the blankets of his hotel bed. He grumbles and rolls over, then opens his eyes and sees that it's about 4 minutes to checkout time. In a rush, he throws the covers off him and man, does he have a gut now or what?! But it's not a beer belly- it's a feul tank for a wrestlin' machine! The bandage on his forehead from the incident at Chaos and a bit of pizza sauce dried to the corner of his mouth, Zyliss quickly throws his possessions into his duffel bag and rushes out into the cold without a jacket. Though it seems his new layer has made him immune to the cold. He gets into his truck and starts it and speeds the entire 150 feet to the hotel office to check out. Whoo, he made it in time. While he's inside, the camera man slips into his truck. He walks calmly back out, gets into his Dodge Ram 1500 truck, and drives off. Through some unknown means, he didn't notice the camera but... oh crap, he sees it. He pats his new belly.
Zyliss: I suppose you're wondering just what this is all about.
The camera shakes up and down as if to say "Yes."
Zyliss: Well I'll tell you.
Great, here we go. Now we have to listen to him talk. This is gonna be painful.
Zyliss: After carefully thinking it over, I decided that I'm sick of being tall but not heavy enough for my height. So, I guess you could say I actually considered what Avenger had to say about me being smaller than he is, in weight I mean. See, right now it's a belly, it's fat, it's whatever you want to call it. But I gaurantee you, by the time Chaos rolls around, it's going to be extra weight in muscle form. As we all know, muscle weighs more than fat. I binged on pizza and cola last night to get this, and starting the second I reach Kansas City gym, I'm going to work on turning it all into muscle. In other words, I intended for this to happen, and it worked quite nicely. Like I said, the second I reach a Kansas City gym, the transformation will begin. I'll bench, I'll squat, I'll crunch, I'll do whatever I have to, to get bigger. Add to the mix a couple of Black Beauty's to keep me going and a few protein shakes and what you'll have by the time Chaos arrives is one big, pissed off man. I guess you could say I'll truly be bigger than Avenger. Which, by my calculations, will make me the 3rd largest man in the UWN next to Double Trouble and that fat bastard Jack McVeigh, whoever that is. And uh, not to hold a grudge or anything, but I think I owe Avenger one anyway...
Zyliss points the bandage on his forehead. Quite obviously there due to some aggressive actions from Avenger on Chaos. But it's all gravy. Zyliss shall extract his revenge... or payback... or whatever. Then, he shall take over the world! Mwa ha ha! Oh, sorry, got caught up in the heat of my keyboard... erm... what the hell did I just type?
Zyliss: Moving on, I'd like to concentrate on my tag partner this week, Rated R. R... is it okay if I call you R? Look, I've seen you in the ring and I know we can pull this off without hardly breaking a sweat. Eternity and Avenger will be but flies in our soup... mmm, soup sounds good, or some Clam Chowder... but anyway, like I said, they will be nothing compared to us. With your talent and my strength, we'll be able take them out without a seconds hesitation. And considering the fact that they're both dead at Wargames anyway, I think now is the opportune time to give them a small preview of what will happen at Wargames. It's inevitable- they know it, I know it, and you know it. So let's just go out there and do what we know: kick their asses.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I believe this is your time to get the hell out of my truck.
Zyliss pulls up to a red light and kindly reaches over to open the door for the cameraman.
Zyliss: Did I stutter?
Zyliss: Look, your hippy friends are right behind us in their van, so just get out will ya?
The camera swings around to see the UWN crew van right behind them as Zyliss said. He climbs out of the truck and scene fades to a terrible tie dye combination of brown, purple, and yellow as Zyliss drives off.