The scene opens to reveal Zyliss in his hotel room. He's kicked back, boots off, relaxed, reading a book. He looks confused, and slowly turns the book upside down, cocks his head to the side, then suddenly chucks the book across the room, unaware he chucked it right at the camera crew. The book nails the camera, and the screen cuts to static. The picture returns moments later, the camera lens cracked, and focused on the book. Due to the cracks in the lens, the picture looks like it would if this "promo" were being taped using a kalidascope, so instead of one book, we see about 5 or 6 or 10- whatever your imagination will allow you to see. But somehow, the title of the book can be read. "Smarten Up: Say It Right" by B. Brian Blair. The camera moves upward, revealing Zyliss as he sits on the edge of the bed, resting his head on his hands, and looking into the camera. All 7 of him. But through this quintuplet vision, we can see his face. He's obviously thinking to himself, and begins speaking outloud to himself, unaware of the camera's presence.
Zyliss' thoughts: Semi-main event, pre-main event, what's the difference? Both terms refer to the match that takes place right before the main event. Only a nit-picking bitch like Avenger would complain about such petty crap. If he's so concerned about it, he should be a college English professor, or an 8th grade English teacher for all I care. He just needs quit bitching and moaning about every little thing he finds wrong with what I say.
And as far as me being "shorter" than him, maybe he should check the roster? Hell, if he can read half has good as he brags he can, he'll see that I'm 6'9"- which means what? Holy shitballs! I'm taller than he is! And so what if I weigh less than him. Was it not David that beat Goliath? Besides, size is nothing, it matters not in this business. It's determination. So I got caught up in the heat of the moment and said something incorrect. Big f*ckin' deal. He can lick my left testicle.
But whatever. Bottom line, I'm not going down without a fight. He can sit there and preach to me about how he's better, how him and that ass licker DT are going to kick our asses, whatever. I'm not ashamed to lose. Did I bitch and piss and moan when Avenger and Eternity beat me and Shadow? No. I accepted it. Granted, I nailed Eternity with a Vertebreaker from behind after the match was over. I guess you could say I got even with him.
But how could he know about my dreams? Hundreds of wrestlers have different ways of preparing for matches... what about mine says I'm afraid of my dreams? Yeah, I'll admit, it's a bit odd to deprive myself of so much sleep before a match, but it really does help keep me mentally aware in the ring. So how could he know about my dreams? Ahh hell, it doesn't matter. If he had dreams about dwarf-size Drew Carey's running all over the place and invading the world, killing and maiming anything that moves and impregnating our women so that they could continue to breed and kill, he wouldn't want to sleep either.
Zyliss is disturbed by a knock at the door. All 7 of him stand up and answer the door, and standing on the other side is Cross.
Zyliss: Hey, what's up?
Cross: God... God is up. He's down too. He's left, he's right, he's diagonal... he's everywhere.
Zyliss: Uhn... yeah, sure. Come on in.
Cross: Thank you.
Cross walks in and removes his coat. Zyliss sits back down on the bed whereas Cross takes a seat in one of the chairs. Cross rests his elbow on the table next to him and then looks at Zyliss.
Cross: I have a plan to share with you.
Cross: It's about our match. About how we will win it without laying a finger on them, or them on us.
Zyliss: ... I am not going down to the ring dressed as a condom!
Zyliss: It was a joke, lighten up!
Cross: Oh... ha ha, funny funny. So witty you are.
Cross smiles and rubs his hand on top of Zyliss' head as if Zyliss were a small child.
Cross: Anyway. We shall pray Zyliss.
Cross: That's right, we shall pray to the good Lord. Pray that he will give Avenger and Double Trouble the vision to see that we are all God's creatures, and that violence is not the solution to our problems. Then Avenger and Double Trouble will realize that winning is but a petty pleasure, and they will not want it anymore. They will forfeit the match and turn it over to us without ever wanting to hurt us.
Zyliss: ... uhn.... uhh...
Cross: Don't you see Zyliss? For this is the only way it can be done! Striking another one of God's creatures is not the way to handle this! We must pray, and then pray that God answers our prayers! It is the only way!
Zyliss: uhm... errr....
Cross: Please Zyliss. Come now, pray with me.
Cross drops to his knees and clasps his hands together, then rests his elbows on the bed in a very praying like manner. He looks at Zyliss.
Cross: Come on brother Zyliss. We must pray.
Hesitantly, Zyliss gets into the same position that Cross is in. He doesn't close his eyes, just looks around as if searching for a way to quickly escape this very uncomfortable situation for him. He spies the bathroom door.
Zyliss: Uh oh! Gotta shit!
Zyliss jumps to his feet and scurries into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him and the sounds of the lock being engaged can be heard. Cross stares at the bathroom door in surprise, and from inside Zyliss fakes the sounds of taking a monster dump. You know the kind. The kind of dump that makes you feel as if it had been building up for 15 years? Yeah, that's the kind. Well, Zyliss is faking those sounds. A good 5 minutes pass before the toilet can be heard flushing, then Zyliss opens the door just big enough to poke his head out.
Zyliss: Can we do this another time? I feel so dirty after that, that I feel I have to take a shower.
Zyliss hesitates, then smiles a pleasent smile at Cross. Cross smiles back.
Cross: Certainly brother Zyliss. Please, just give me a call when you're ready.
Zyliss: Uhh yeah, sure thing. Have a good day!
Cross: You too. And remember. I love you, and God loves you.
Zyliss: Yes, I'll be sure to remember that. Bye now.
Zyliss shuts the door to the bathroom and turns on the shower. After hearing the sound of the water running, Cross grabs his jacket and throws it on, then leaves the motel room. The scene fades to flannel.