The scene opens to reveal Zyliss in his apartment- wherever that may be. Much as everything else about him, where he lives is a mystery as well. When the camera crew called his cell phone, he told them to meet him somewhere, and from there on he forced them to wear black masks over their heads. Can we help it that he's an ass-clown like that? No. But, if the man doesn't want anybody to know where he lives, that's his business.
He's relaxing on the couch since it is his week off, though he is planning a trip to the gym tomorrow. After all, a man's gotta stay in shape right? The TV is NOT on. Zyliss isn't a big believer in media or television. He never has been. That much we know about him. He'll watch it very rarely, but usually Zyliss enjoys his spare time reading. NERD!
A knock at the door is heard. Zyliss calmly walks over and answers the door. You would think he'd use the "peep-hole" first, but do you think anybody's gonna try some sh*t against a damn near 7 foot monster? Nah. The person on the other side of the door is wearing a UPS uniform, a package in hand. Zyliss signs for it, then takes the package and closes the door. He sets the package on the kitchen table and then opens it with a knife. Digging through the styrofoam packing peanuts, Zyliss pulls out whatever is inside the box, revealing it to be a laptop computer.
Zyliss: Ah-ha... I was wondering when this thing would get here.
Zyliss admires it for a moment, and the logo on it reads "Dell." He then digs through the box again and pulls out the power cord and other miscellaneous items that would be useful in case the battery power should die. Setting it up, Zyliss opens it up and turns it on. Going through the usual start up crap that a computer of any kind would do, Zyliss finally reaches the desktop. He just fiddles and piddles around, trying to familiarize himself with the controls, when the computer, oddly enough, just shuts down.
Zyliss: What the crap?
Suddenly, the computer explodes, sending Zyliss straight back in his chair and to the ground. His face is charred, hair blown back and frozen in position. He lies there stunned for a few moments, then begins to get up as the scene fades to black.
Some time later....
We return again. Zyliss has cleaned himself up and beat the crap out of the already f*cked computer with a hammer. He's definitely getting a refund!
So I guess it's about time to start bullsh*tting eh? Let's do it to it... or something.
Zyliss: So I guess now is the time when I'm supposed to run through everybody in the UWN and tell them what I think of them huh? Well, sorry, it's my vacation....
Knowing this was a complete waste of time, except for that hilarious scene with the exploding computer, the scene fades to black.