The scene opens to reveal, yep, you guessed it- Zyliss- as he stares down at his legs, bared by a pair of shorts. They are muscular, somewhat feminine, I mean masculine! There is total silence in the air as Zyliss just stares at his feminine (masculine dammit!) legs. Then, his face lifts, and he stares into the camera momentarily before speaking in the most sarcastic tone imaginable.

Zyliss: Hmm... I have some nice-looking legs here. I'm sure gonna miss 'em when Ash tears them apart like he said he would. I can't believe I've underestimated this anal-retentive scrotum slurp... erm, threat... like I have. I should've listened... I should've paid more attention... then maybe I wouldn't of made him raise his penis... erm... rage, to a whole new level. I just wish there was a way I could take back everything I've said... then maybe I wouldn't have to deal with this psycho at Mayhem....

His voice trails off before he grins. His voice returns to its normal tone.

Zyliss: You truly are pathetic Ash. The only thing you've brought to a new level is how pathetic you are. It's inconceivable how someone like you has made it to the big time. But I guess we all make mistakes... I'll be sure to forgive Sal Paradise after Mayhem is over.

Moving on... special training eh? Are you that scared that you're gonna lose to me? Seriously, because I've seen hot dogs put up better arguments than you have. I'm talking up a storm? At least I'm not repeating myself until I'm blue in the face. All you babble on about is how I've pissed you off and underestimated you. I wonder why that is Ash. Is it because you're constantly talking about how you're going to "kick my ass?" Is it because you were so paranoid that I'd attack you before the match that you took out the cameraman in an effort to look tough? Is it because you got kicked out of the WWE? Or is it, plain and simple, because you suck?

All good questions... but only one word can answer them all: yes. The biggest mark of a no-talent jobber is the way he speaks in his promo's. He speaks of how he's going to kick his opponents ass, how he's pissed off, and how he's going to do some "special training" just for his opponent. Hmm... now I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but sounds to me like you're showing all the classic signs of jobberitis. Perhaps you should return to wrestling school and learn punch, chop, kick again? Hell, you wouldn't even have to return to wrestling school. I'm sure Parrapa the Rapper could teach you some bad ass moves for the ring. Just get a Playstation... and the game... that's all you need. If you do well enough, maybe you'll learn some advanced moves while you're at it.

Basically Ash, I'm sick of repeating myself. Go off and do your special training. Bitch about how I'm pissing you off. Point out the fact that you suck... I mean that you're a threat. Do whatever you want... I'm finished with you until Mayhem. And when it's over, I'll be finished with you for good.

Zyliss clears his throat.

Zyliss: Now I have something I'd like to say to my fellow Aggressioneers. It is these puny fucks like Ash that keep us from owning this fed. To quote Cell, "They're just like cockroaches- squash one and another one comes crawling out of the wall." We need to go on a mission of getting rid of them after Japhy Ryder defeats Eternity at the pay per view. They are but a pimple on our asses and its time they were popped. Who's with me?

The scene fades to black as Zyliss scratches his butt.