It's been a long while since we've heard or seen from the Technicians. Last we knew, they were hard a work in a hardware store, and the Mechanic was beating the crap out of the Great Gumbaliath's little brother, the Grungy Gumbaliath.
A lot has happened since then... I think. Mebbe? Bah, who cares, let's just get to it!
The scene comes into view to reveal Craig Williams as he sits, on a couch, in the living room of his apartment. Now that's high-class livin' right there. A trail of sorts is surrounded by cardboard boxes that are still scattered about as Mr. Satan is currently working on getting moved in.
I've never seen a man with so much crap. Craig thinks to himself.
When a knock echo's through the apartment, Craig, looking annoyed, gets up and answers the door. He is surpised to see an O.P.D. man standing there. That's Organization for Parcel Delivery for those that can't read my mind.
OPD Man: I have a special delivery for a...
Craig: Just shut the hell up and give me the paper. I'm Craig Williams.
OPD Man: Okay then...
The OPD Man hands Craig a clipboard, to which Craig just scribbles a signature on the paper and hands it back to him. Craig practically rips the package from the OPD Man's hands.
The OPD Man shoots a rude look at Craig, who simply returns the look with the ever famous "death stare." The OPD Man shrinks away like a scared puppy, and Craig slams the door in his face before turning around and examining the package. His Bat-like skills of observation cause him to notice there is no return address on the package.
Craig: What the crap...?
Craig rips the package open and finds a VHS tape with absolutely no markings on it inside. There is nothing else. No letter, no note, just the tape. His curiosity is flaring as he pushes the tape into his VCR and hits "Play." He sits back down on the couch and uses a remote control to turn the TV to channel 3. A few moments of the ant races, or fuzz/static/snow, comes across the screen before an image flickers on the TV. Another few moments goes by as the auto-tracking system on the VCR adjusts the tracking of the tape, and soon the image is clear.
Craig: DAMMIT! I thought I was rid of these two!
The camera pans around to focus on the TV. We see The Technicians, Krista, and Kendra. They're all just kinda chillin' in the living room of the Technicians new condo.
Craig: I am so not watching this!
Craig reaches for the remote again, and as he's picking it up he loses his grip. The remote falls to the floor and just before Craig can reach down and pick it up, a heavy box slams down on top of it. Craig jerks his hand back and looks up at the culprit, who is none other than Hiram Dorque.
Hiram: Talk about a deal! I got me 500 back issues of Maxim for only $2.99! Now I have something to read to the ladies before I... uhh... hehe, you know!
Craig: You moron!
Craig pushes the box off to the side with ease, then mourns over the loss of the remote control, which has been turned into a... uhm... a bunch of broken plastic pieces!
Craig: Dammit! The power buttons to the VCR and TV are coincidentally broken right now, and the remote was the only thing I could use to turn them on and off! And now I have to sit through this crap! No! I won't let it happen!
Craig violently stands up and shoves Hiram off to the side. He runs through a doorway and a sudden thud echo's through the apartment, followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor.
Hiram: I wonder what that was all about.
Hiram pulls the box he just brought in over to the couch and sits down. He opens it and looks inside.
Hiram: Oooh... An ever-so-interesting article on ten different ways to light your man's fire...
Hiram begins digging through the box, and the camera swoops around to focus on the TV again. Amazingly enough, nothing has happened since the tape started playing.
We see the Technicians, Krista, and Kendra, all relaxing in the living room of the Technician's new condo, as previously mentioned. Krista is sprawled out on the couch and Kendra is feeling very relaxed as she lies back in a dark blue, La-Z-Boy recliner. Both women are really starting to show in the 7th month of their pregnancies, as well as eat really weird stuff. Just the other night, the Technicians had to run out at 2 A.M. to track down pickles and chocolate shakes, to which the twins started dipping the pickles into the chocolate shakes.
But enough on that. The Technicians are also sitting in recliners, and all of them are watching the T.V. We notice a glint coming off of both Krista and Kendra's left ring fingers. Could it be? Have the Techs... *gulp*... made it official? Ya damn right they have! And it's scheduled to be a double-wedding a few months after the kids are born.
M: Man... I wonder what it would be like to be one of them giant wasps.
E: It would probably suck. Most of them are laborers, and I know you remember what that was like.
M: Ohhh yeah. Hey, I wonder if...
M: You don't even know what I was gonna ask!
E: Yes I do. You were gonna ask if it would be cool to go to the store and get some soda.
M: How'd you know that?
E: Because I'm a genious.
M: Wait... that has nothing to do with giant wasps!
E: I know.
M: Anyway. Yeah, we should go get some soda.
E: Because, dammit, I said!
M: Oh, so you're the damned leader now huh?
E: That's right. Always have been, always will be. Let's not forget, if it wasn't for me, those two wouldn't even be here right now!
M: You are not the father of my child!
E: You dumbass. I'm talking about Krista and Kendra.
M: Oh... right.
Krista and Kendra giggle.
Kendra: Hey hun.
Kendra: Would you wanna get me a glass of milk?
M: Certainly... anything for the mother of my child.
E: God you're disgusting!
E: You ain't even married yet and you're already whipped!
Krista: Hey babe.
Krista: A glass of milk does sound good right now. Tell Keith to get me one too.
E: Mech, get off your bitch-ass and get her a glass of milk too!
E: Oh, fine then! I suppose I'll get it for her.
The Technicians stand up and walk into the kitchen, to which the camera follows as we hear another giggle from Krista and Kendra.
M: Man, I don't know about you, but I am really getting nervous about this whole fatherhood, marriage thing.
E: It ain't no thing. To steal a phrase from our good buddy Jake, it's just like riding a bull. Hop on and hope you don't get bucked off.
M: I guess.
The Technicians return with glasses of milk for their significant others. Once back in their chairs, the Electrician begins flipping through the channels. They come across a WWE show of sorts, and a video clip of Jericho and Sean Michaels' match on this weeks past RAW is playing. (I think that's who he was facing, I can't remember for sure tho.) Jericho has Sean Michaels in the Walls of Jericho.
M: Check it out! It's the Balls of Scaryho!
E: It's a Boston fucking crab! If Jericho weren't such a lazy bitch, he could make it the Walls of Jericho by turning it into an elevated Boston crab, but since he won't, it's just a Boston crab!
M: Forgive him, for he knows not what he does almighty God of submission holds.
E: Shut your stupid face. I'm not in the mood for your taunts.
M: Whatcha gonna do?
E: The same thing I did last time...
M: Touch my butt?
E: Shut up poody.
E: Don't what, poody?
M: I mean it.
E: Explain poody.
M: Knock it off!
E: Whatever poody.
The Mechanic leaps from his chair and attacks his brother. The two wrestle around, much to Krista and Kendra's delight, and roll right into the camera they didn't know was there. The screen cuts to fuzz. The camera pans around again and we see Hiram's face buried in an issue of Maxim as the scene fades to black. Disclaimer: No persons were injured during the writing of this RP. Fifteen and a half people, however, were most likely intoxicated. What about the last half of the person? Oh... that. It turned into gak and slimed its way down a storm drain.