Then there was the time when the Electrician thought the oompa-loompa's were after him. A tale in which we still can't say with any certainty is over. I mean, if the Electrician would happen to see somebody wearing an orange jumpsuit, or hear the beginning words to one of those oompa-loompa songs, would he freak out and run for his suction cup arrow and bow, and wood-lathe sword? We don't know. Let's just hope he doesn't, because that could get pretty ugly.
Then there's Heath Newton. From what we've seen of him recently, he believes he's some kind of god or revealer or some trash; one that can "cleanse" the sinners of the world. Compared to what the Electrician believes and what he has done, he doesn't even hold a candle to the delusions of a one Heath Newton. Heath has gone beyond the limits of normal insanity, above the standards that many hold for the par of just plain crazy. Heath has completely lost himself in his own delusions, and that's something to worry about. He doesn't belong in a ring, he belongs in a mental asylum where he can be helped. With muscle relaxers, morphine, zanax, and lots of it.
But through all this, we have to ask ourselves which one is going to take it to that higher level of performance at Epic? Which one is crazy enough to destroy the other? We all know the Electrician is the veteran between the two and that Heath is merely a rookie. We all know that the Electrician has been pushed to his very outer limits many times in his career. Not only in the matches he's participated in, but in the war of the words as well. Is it possible that Heath Newton could be the man to push the Electrician further than he's ever been pushed before? Is it possible for a rookie to take a veteran to a higher level of performance? It is. The question that now remains is... will Heath be the man to do that?
The Technicians watch as the BLPW merchandise sellers set up the display of merchandise for Epic. They know that hundreds of fans will be buying tee shirts, hats, masks, whatever fits their fancy. Despite being a relatively small booth, underneath the counter are many boxes that hold extra merchandise in the event that the displays run out. The Technicians are happy to see their new tee shirt (the ones that arrived via UPS earlier in the day) hanging on display. It shows a picture of the Technicians on the front proudly displaying their tag titles, and even though we can't see the back we know what it says. "The best tag team BLPW will ever see."
M: Looks damn good.
E: Tru dat poody.
M: Don't start with that.
The scene opens up at the bank of the Schuylkill River, just outside of Reading, PA. Random spots of the rivers edge are iced over, but for the most part it is... uhm... de-iced...? Anyway, we see 3 blown up beach balls slowly heading downriver. One could only wonder why there's beach balls out in the middle of winter, and the camera man gets so bored that he starts to film other scenery nearby. Suddenly, a zap is heard followed immediately by a popping sound. The camera focuses back on the beach balls, and we see that one has popped. Then, out of nowhere, a bolt of electricity zaps another beach ball, popping it as well. Then, another bolt, popping the 3rd beach ball. What the hell? The camera pans around, trying to find the source, but reveals nothing. As it continues to pan around, a thump is heard from the background, and the camera swoops around, revealing the Electrician standing there, holding a gun of sorts. He's smiling.
E: I'm so proud of me. I finally did it. I finally created one for myself.
The Electrician holds the gun up. A close look reveals that we are looking at the same type of gun that Tank used to shoot Cyrus in that 1999 hit movie, "The Matrix." Yes, the Electrician has built one. He didn't tell anybody about it because he didn't want anybody to know. Especially his brother. If the Mechanic had found out than he would've gone ballistic trying to tell the Electrician how to build it. But the Electrician is the master of electricity dammit, and it was his own sheer genious, if that's what you wanna call it, that figured out how to build a real life replica of the gun. Well, a half hour or so ago he finished it; and he was so anxious to try it out that he couldn't wait and demanded a camera crew be at this very spot to witness its first use. As you saw, the project was successful. The Electrician lowers the gun, still smiling.
E: She's a beaut' ain't she? Took me almost a year, but dammit, it was worth it. This is now my favorite toy. Well, I guess it's not really a toy if you don't know what you're doing. But for me, it's a toy. Hehe... I'd like to see Heath Newton create something of such beauty.
Speaking of which, I couldn't help but notice in his last promo that he called himself the messiah. The NEW messiah to be more exact. *sighs* Heath, when are you gonna learn that there's only one, true Messiah and that it isn't you?
No no no Heath, you are not the Messiah, and you never will be. For you see, the Messiah is none other than Hawkeye, brother to the legendary Superballs. Second best in the business only to Superballs, Hawkeye has claimed more titles than most could hope to claim in their entire career, and he's still got a good 10 years left in the business. He earned the name Messiah through every last bit of dedication he had. Title after title, opponent after opponent, Hawkeye has carved his way through this industry, leaving a mark wherever he goes, leading the rookies and the veterans. He shows the true meaning of what it is to be a wrestler, and neither you or Shawn Sanders or even myself hold a candle to him. Hawkeye is the Messiah, and only he is worthy of that name.
It was true. Hawkeye, the 7'3" 325 pound monster had earned the rights to the nickname "The Messiah" long before Heath Newton ever even dreamed of setting foot in a wrestling ring. (Authors Note: Yeah, I know none of you guys have seen his work and probably never even heard of him (except Legend), but I'll get to that later.) He is the one man next to Superballs that could take out anybody set in his path if he really felt it necessary. Yeah, just like any wrestler he's had his share of losses, but unlike most wrestlers, he will accomplish anything he puts his mind to. And if he's got his sights set on a goal, you better stand back, because he won't hesitate to tear right through you if you're in his way.
E: So Heath, if you even think of yourself as the Messiah again, prepare for a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad pain... which will probably be in your legs because I'll see to it personally.
The Electrician hears a squirrel squeak nearby. His eyes widen and he jerks his head around, looking for where it could have come from. Ah-ha, he spots it! Up in the trees. He slowly takes aim, peering through the crosshairs. He eases the trigger back and zap! The squirrel falls to the ground, frozen in position. The Electrician smiles.
E: Heh, god I love this gun. I'm gonna have to make another one for safe-keeping.
Anyway, moving on to Epic. Heath, you know, it's one thing to completely ignore me. I'm fine with that. In fact, I couldn't be happier that you don't want to acknowledge my existance. It'll just make my advancement in the tournament all that much sweeter for me. But it's another to act as though you're some kind of god when you haven't even earned your place here yet. Me? I've earned my place. I've established myself here alongside my brother, and we will always be ready for anything that comes our way. You, on the other hand, will not. You are not ready for the likes of me, and you never will be. Make your b***h and the camera crews bow before you. Force them to strip damn near naked and kneel before you like the god you'd like to think you are. It's not going to change the future. The future that you, Heath Newton, will be my personal whipping boy at Epic.
Then perhaps you will come down from that cloud you've been living on. Then perhaps you will wake up and realize that you're not a god; that you'll never be the Messiah, and that you're simply another wishful rookie looking ahead at a career full of disappointment. The opponents you've encountered so far are nothing compared to me. Bob the Builder couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag, KGB may be a super athelete but I did pin him to bring the Tag Titles back to my brother and I and with his losing streak lately, anybody could have beaten him, even you. But I'm not like those other two opponents of yours. I am completely different in the ring than they. They are aggressive wrestlers, they prefer to try and power their way through matches. But I? I am a submissionist. I prefer to put my opponents through so much pain they can hardly think straight let alone wrestle. The only reason you defeated KGB was because he got tired of carrying your lazy ass through the entire match. But I? I am the electrified one. I am the one man that can go through an entire hour of wrestling and still have enough energy to go through another 10 to 15 minutes of it. I am the man that when you think he's down will jump straight up to his feet and stare you straight in the eyes. And then you will quiver in fear, knowing that there's nothing you can do to stop me from tearing your kneecap off and smacking it against your forehead. All you will be able to do is let it happen because it's a lot easier to take the beating than it is to fight it. And then you will beg for mercy when I lock in the Crossed Wires, making you feel terrible pain, cry, beg for mercy, and tap all at the same time.
I am that man Heath, all wrapped up into one. And you? You are nobody. You are just another win under my belt and the stepping stone I shall use to advance into the second round of the North American title tournament. And then you will have to watch in agony and self-pity as I go on to claim what you only wish you could have. And then you will suffer because of your own pity for yourself because you knew you couldn't step up to par when it mattered most. You'll have to go through the rest of your career knowing that you choked in what is and will be the biggest match of your life. And then you will hate yourself.
That's the way it is Heath. That's the way it is. Nothing you can say or do or attempt to stop it. The match at Epic is mine, and it is NOT subject to negotiation.
Heath wants to speak of prophetic actions and such? (Authors Note: Referring to the "cleansing" thing... sounds kind of prophetic to me) Well that's my prophecy. I'm sure our paths will cross again in the future, but he will become Wile E. Coyote and I will be the RoadRunner. Just as Wile E. Coyote tries to catch the RoadRunner, Heath will try to defeat me, but both will fail miserably. The only differance is that Heath's failed attempts will not be as comical. The only joke will be Heath himself when I become the revealer and show the world that Heath is nothing more than an average man.
The scene fades to black.
Narrator: So it has been done. The Electrician unleashed unto the world his prophecy. Will Heath be able to overcome the odds against him at Epic? Will he snap out of his delusions and come to grips with reality? And if so, will he be able to step up to the Electrician and prove him wrong? Prove that he cannot and will not be eliminated from the tournament so early? Only time will tell. Tune in next time, same Epic time, same Epic channel.
Disclaimer: No animals were harmed during the writing of this RP. A 2 headed snake fought with itself over which head would eat the ass end of the rat, then a baby crocodile ate the snake and the rat, but everything else appears normal.