Bill: Good afternoon good sirs.
M: Oh Christ!
Bill: Got a minute?
E: No, actua...
Bill: Wonderful! How's about an interview?
Just as Bill finishes asking his question, but before the Electrician can kick him in the nuts for being so rude and impolite, Emily comes walking in. She and Bill make eye contact before their faces turn from surprised to scowls.
Emily: What are you doing here? I told you I had this covered!
Bill: So? What's wrong with me interviewing them and you taking someone else?
Emily: Because I'm tired of interviewing the same people all the time! You take someone else this time!
Bill: Listen here little girl. I'm the head interviewer for the BLPW. I say when and where and who gets interviewed! Understood? You follow my orders!
Emily says nothing, just gets that "death glare" that all women seem to get in their eyes when they really become irrational.
Emily: Now you listen to me, tubby. I told you that I was going to interview the Technicians at this exact time on this exact day in this exact place! Now I suggest you scurry along before you really regret it!
Bill: Oh, and after I slapped Double J with a leather glove for you. This is how you repay me?
Emily: Nevermind that! Shaitan will do a lot worse than whatever sissy thing you did when he gets his hands on Double J! Now get outta here!
Bill: And if I refuse?
With what can only be identified as a battle cry of some sort, Emily charges full bore at Bill. The Technicians, stunned, just stare on in horror as Emily tackles the tub of lard known as Bill. She takes him to the ground and begins piss pounding him for all she's worth. She splits his lip open with a hard, ring-armored, right hand, then stands up and kicks him in ribs repeatedly. The Technicians are almost too scared to do anything about it, but finally the Mechanic pulls her away while the Electrician drags Bill back towards the door. Having wanted to hurt Bill earlier for just barging in like that, the Electrician doesn't bother to help him to his feet, and rather just rolls him out the door.
E: And let that be a lesson to ya!
The Electrician slams the door shut, then turns back to his brother and Emily, who has calmed down a little.
Emily: Ooooh, he makes me so mad sometimes!
M: Believe me, we understand. He's just a greedy little, well fat, bastard... he wants all the glory for everything.
Emily: Tell me about it. He's always assigning me to the big names, but he's always taking the bigger names for himself.
M: Shyeah... that dick.
E: So anyway... I believe you were going to interview us?
Emily: Oh yeah. Shall we get started?
The 3 walk into the living room and the Techs take a seat on the couch. Emily sits down in the Mechanic's air-inflated chair and pulls out a notepad with her questions written on it. She then looks back at the Technicians.
Emily: So tell me, what are your thoughts about facing two of the biggest names in the BLPW this week at Epic?
E: Well Emily, truth be told, we're really quite up to the challenge. As they said in what I can only identify as a promo, all we have faced is jobber teams. Teams that didn't know their asses from a hole in the ground, and honestly, it's rather insulting. It's like the powers of the BLPW are trying to say we're no better than that. But now, finally, we're getting our chance to prove to every single BLPW fan that we're more than just a couple of goofballs.
M: That's right. We've pretty much been put on hold since we returned to the BLPW after our grandmothers funeral. Put up against teams that couldn't measure up to us if they were standing on 10 foot stilts. And yet, we put up with it.
Emily: And why's that?
M: So glad you asked. You see, the confident man is one that is willing to wait for what he knows he's gonna get. The confident man is one that is willing to put up with just about any load of horse shit that's put in his path, because he knows that sooner or later, he's going to get his chance to really show what he's made of. The same principle applies in the tag team division. The confident team is one that's willing to wait... one that's willing to put up with that load of horse shit, because they know they'll get their chance.
E: Exactly. And when you stop to consider the words of the Law himself, "And I for one can't wait to finally get my hands on the two of you, to embarass you and himiliate you...it's going to be a blast. I can't wait till Epic comes around." Well, we're going to give them the exact opposite of what they're expecting from us. If Law is so anxious to get this over with, he's obviously not confident enough that he'll be ready to go by the time Epic comes around. Dammit, the Law is ready to "humiliate us" now! By God we'd better get to the arena so as not to disappoint this human gift to the wrestling world! Shmuck.
Emily: Interesting theory. So what do you have to say about the Faction claiming they were the masterminds behind the attack on you at BLPW Epic, November 11, 2002?
E: Excuse me? The Faction? Masterminds?
The Technicians share a mild laugh.
M: Masterminds... that's great.
Emily: I fail to see the humor in this.
E: Go back and look at the tape Emily. If you notice that all the Law and Craig did was simply distract us so that Storm Front 2000 could get a few cheap shots on us, then you've seen that the attack was hardly a mastermind scheme. A couple of chimps could've pulled that off. And yet they're flaunting it around like they're a couple of scheming geniouses. Quite pathetic when you think about it.
M: Add to that the fact that they've only actually participated in what... 3... 4 matches?
Emily: The Law and Craig Williams, as a team, have participated in 4 total tag matches.
M: Okay, so when you consider that, they don't know even half of what teamwork is all about. Since my brother completed wrestling school and joined me in the ranks of the ACW, over 2 years ago, we've been in tag match after tag match. Very rarely have we been in singles matches. At a rough guess I'd say that's at least 60 or 70 tag matches... compared to their pathetic 4? Seriously, they don't know anything about what it means to have teamwork going for them. Teamwork develops over time, not over night as they seem to believe it does. And out of all those tag matches we've been in, we've only choked once. Once, out of 60 freakin' tag matches! And they're trying to tell us that we don't know what we're talking about?
E: You can't argue with the facts. And considering the facts we have just laid before their very ears, or eyes... or whatever... (he's confused himself again... great!)... the only team that has little chance of success in this match is the Faction themselves! Now they may be two of the best that the BLPW has to offer in singles competition, but let's face it, they are nothing, absolutely nothing, when compared to us.
M: Of course, they're going to come right back and say something along the lines of "all you've faced is jobber teams" or something to that extent. It's almost expected. In fact, it wouldn't even be a Faction promo if they didn't. But they have no idea the challenges we have overcome against the best tag teams the pro-wrestling circuit has to offer! Not just in ACW, but in other promotions as well such as the AWA, TWC, and EHW. Teams that, if they were to meet the Faction in the ring, would drop them in about 5 seconds flat without even breaking a sweat. And we've defeated those teams in cage matches, table matches, pane glass Lion Dens, a scaffold match or two... I could go on, but I'd be listing specialty matches all day long.
Emily: So you're pretty confident that the Faction, just like every other tag team you've faced in the BLPW, will not present a challenge to you?
E: Emily, Emily, Emily... isn't that what we've been saying all along? The only delusional team here are those jokes. We may be joking in-between shows, but we're certainly not a joke to the sport. If that were the case, the BLPW wouldn't of even bothered to hire us. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't they only hire wrestlers that are worth a damn?
Emily: I suppose so.
E: There ya go. There isn't a single wrestler in any other federation in the world that could measure up to the jobbers that the BLPW employs. So what makes these two clowns think we're a joke?
M: I dunno... ego's maybe?
E: Ah-ha! We have the keyword here.
Emily: I wouldn't go too far if I were you. Your ego's can get pretty bad sometimes.
E: At times, yes. In the ring? Never.
Emily: Moving on, what would you say has been your greatest accomplishment as a tag team?
M: That would be, of course, winning the TWC Tag Team Gauntlet Challenge. It was back in 2001 I believe, shortly after our career as a tag team began. 3 TWC Tag Teams competed against each other in a triple threat tag match- the winner to go on and face the tag team Gauntlet. Needless to say, we won that match. The following pay per view was the Gauntlet challenge.
E: That's right. The very team you see before you was the team that fought 5 tag teams in a row, elimination style rules. If one of us got pinned, we were eliminated, therefore losing the Gauntlet challenge. But, if we pinned the opposing team, they were eliminated and we continued to the next round. Nothing tests your endurance more than a challenge like that.
M: And, as you already know, we won it. The prize: the TWC Tag Team Titles. And we held them for 5 consecutive months before the TWC closed. Which, technically speaking, means that we still are the TWC Tag Champs.
Emily: Interesting. Well, my last question for you is do you have any final words to your opponents before we finish up here?
The Technicians turn and face the camera.
M: Jokes huh?
E: Fighting spirit huh?
M: As a tag team, you've been unstoppable? True as that may be, with your pathetic 4 matches and all, you cannot deny us what is rightfully ours. That being the fact that we've beaten more teams now than you two could ever hope to face in your career as a tag team. And yet, you sit there babbling off whatever comes to mind because, truth be told, you know absolutely nothing about us. All you know is what you've seen of us since we arrived here, and what little of our career we've just told you about.
E: And you're going to try and hold our one, single loss in damn near 3 years of tag team experience against us, just so you can say we don't have a chance? To say that all we've faced is jobber teams?
Emily hands a sheet of paper to the Electrician.
E: From the looks of this, your tag matches haven't exactly been against the best of the best. Sal Clemenzo and KGB? Darth Borac and KGB? Badstreet USA, also known as Viper and Jimmy The Gent? And finally, Shawn Sanders and Mr. Satan? Aside from Sanders, KGB, and Satan- the rest of your "great feats" were pathetic! Come on now, Sal Clemenzo? Darth Borac? Badstreet USA? It's no wonder you haven't been beaten yet. 3 of those 4 teams were involving opponents that just about everybody in the BLPW has beaten. And you want to try to tell us that you're some kind of unstoppable force? And then laugh at us?
M: If anybody should be laughing at anybody, it should be us laughing at you. Pathetic I tell ya- absolutely pathetic.
E: Now before we leave you, we'd just like to mention that, no matter how hard you try.
M: No matter how badly you'd like to.
E: No matter how much you'd just love to humiliate us...
M: It's not gonna happen.
E: That's right. Simply put: we don't find humiliation in losses, or anything for that matter. We're proud of who we are and what we do. And nothing, and I mean nothing, can take that pride away.
M: You could beat us within inches of our very lives, and the very next day we'd laugh at you because you couldn't finish the job. If anybody will be humiliated, it will be you. Why? Because you'll be the laughing stock of the BLPW when you are beaten by the very team you thought to be a joke.
The Technicians simply smile very sheepish smiles as the scene begins to fade to black. But just before it does...
E: Oh, and one more thing.
M: Come Epic, you will know what it means to be...
E & M: TECHNICALLY DESTROYED!!!
The scene fades to black.
M: Dumbasses. They can't even figure out what that means.
E: Shyeah. Like it's hard to figure out. I mean, the phrase in itself is self-explanatory.
M: Exactly. We couldn't literally destroy them... otherwise we might just end up in prison.
E: Exactomundo my brother. So, technically speaking, we destroy them.
The Technicians laugh evily as Emily just rolls her eyes.