Figure 1: What?
Let me finish my dream first!
Checkout time? What? We're not supposed to check out till like... noon.
The hand shoots back out from underneath the covers again and turns the clock on the bedstand towards the bed. The hand then jerks back underneath the covers.
Figure 1: Holy sh*t it is noon!
The figure lying in the other bed stirs around.
Figure 2: It what?
Figure 1: This BITCH is telling me it's noon. And the clock's backing him up too!
Figure 2: Tell the clock to shut up! Nobody asked him anyway!
Figure 1: Shut up clock!
Figure 2: Dude, don't we have to be somewhere at like... twelve fifteen?
Figure 1: Ooooh yeah... that one place.
Figure 2: Yeah, there.
Both figures sit straight up. They are revealed as The Technicians. They exchange glances, and the Electrician, the one who has the phone, throws the phone across the room. They both stand up and, hurridly, get dressed. While the Electrician is balancing on one foot to tie his shoe, he falls over. The scene cuts to the room below where the guests in that room are covered in plaster dust. The scene cuts back to the Technicians room, which is now vacant as they left in a great hurry. They run down to the lobby of the hotel and a very gay looking, male fashion designer rushes up to them. He speaks with a lisp.
Designer: Where have you been? We've already started. You must go change now!
E: Don't rush me faggot!
M: Yeah, what he said!
Designer: You know I don't like being called a faggot.
E: How about fruity booty?
M: What about a bone smuggler?
E: Green and yellow fellow?
M: Inspector of man-holes?
E: Semen demon?
E: Tube steak Tarzan?
M: Turd burgler?
Designer: NO! I am heterosexually challenged thank you very much! Now go get dressed!
E & M: Yes almighty navigator of the windward passage!
The Technicians rush off as the designer throws his arms in the air in disgust. The camera follows them into the back dressing room. A lady approaches the 2.
Lady: Are you the wrestlers?
E: Do I look like anything else?
Lady: He doesn't look like a wrestler.
M: I resent that comment you Saigon whore!
M: No, Saigon WHOOOOOORE!
Lady: Shut up! Let's go!
The 3 take off and the shot cuts to the runway where a few young males are modeling boxer shorts in front of a crowd of about 200 people. The males on the runway exit and the Mechanic appears, the boxer shorts seemingly very loose on him.
Designer: Here we have the Mechanic, who is modeling a very nice pair of silk, Scooby-Doo boxers. Don't you just wanna pet the dog?
The Mechanic flashes the designer a dirty look, then a grin slowly comes across his face. As he nears the end of the runway, he whips around and drops the boxers, mooning the crowd. The designer almost faints at the sight of the Mechanic's nearly hairless buttox. The Mechanic then pulls the boxers back up and runs to the back. He screams at the designer before disappearing behind the curtain.
M: You poop-shoot pirate!
The Electrician appears from the behind the curtain just as the Mechanic leaves. The boxers he is wearing are very tight on his frame.
Designer: And finally, it's the Electrician. He's wearing what I like to call Frosted Flakes Foxtrotters. Notice Tony the Tiger saying "They're grrrreat!"
The designer looks at the Electrician very seductively, and the Electrician instantly grabs his groin. He walks down the stage with both hands cupping his groin. As he nears the end of the runway, the wood creaks underneath his weight. When he reaches the very end, he takes one last step and the runway collapses. The Electrician screams a high-pitched scream as the seams of the boxers tear. The Electrician covers his buttox and runs to the back as "Grrr" is seen as the only word left on the boxers. The designer closes the show and the shot cuts to the back where the Technicians are fully dressed. They are talking to the lady.
E: So, can I keep the boxers?
M: And can I feel your lung warts?
Lady: Yes you can keep the boxers and what the f*ck are lung warts?
M: You know, miniature milk sacks?
Lady: Are you insinuating that I have small breasts?
M: Bust 'em and prove it!
The lady rears back her arm and slaps the Mechanic so hard he slams into the wall. He pushes himself off the wall so he's standing straight up and rubs his cheek, which has turned a bright red.
M: Umm... ouch.
E: You retard.
M: I know it!
The designer comes running up to The Technicians.
Designer: You ruined my show! I'm a failure!
E & M: Yes you are.
Lady: GET OUT!!!
The Technicians waste no time and sprint through the door.
The scene returns at a Hardee's fast food restaurant. A large, black humvee is sitting in one of the handicap parking spots. The shot switches to inside, where the Technicians are sitting at a table staring at one another. Both look down a the pile of curly fries they have amassed between them, and back at one another. Before either can say a word, they jam their hands into the pile of fries and begin to search for the curliest ones.
E: They're mine!
M: Screw you bastard, they're the best!
E: That's why I deserve them!
M: You're not the best.
E: Oh yeah?
E: Well...umm...uhh...you're a crappy model!
M: Hey! You're the fat bastard that ripped the boxers after falling off the stage. Don't call me a crappy model. I was so perfect in my ways. Did you see the full moon shining over that room? I swear some of those chicks fainted from the sight of my beautiful ass.
E: More like the stench you smelly bastard. I bet you haven't showered in days!
M: So. I still have a pretty ass.
A woman walks by just as the Mechanic is saying that. She stops and looks at him.
Woman: Yes you do.
Woman: Yes you do have a pretty ass. I was at that fashion show. You guys were stupendous!
M: I was, but tubby here ripped his boxers cause he's a clutz and a fat bastard.
Woman: It added a sense of comedy to the normally drab show. The fashion industry needs people like you two. You add the whole bad boy look.
E: Wait, you're in the fashion industry...you've got a body like that...and you eat at Hardee's? What the hell is going on inside your thought tank?
Woman: Umm...I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but here...have a card. Call me after you've thought about my offer.
M: Thought? What the hell is that?
E: Mech, come on now. Thought, it's a very complex process in which one reasons and contemplates possible outcomes to a threatening situation.
M: What the hell did you just say?
E: It's where you think about stuff.
M: Oh! Why didn't you just say so! Wait, I don't get paid enough to think...that's a whole new echelon of pay grades. They can't pay me enough to think. I just go and get hurt, it's my job!
E: Shut your stupid face.
Woman: Come work for me, and neither of you will hurt again. Did I mention we have swedish women, without armpit hair, who massage your every ache?
E: Hot...swedish...that makes them blonde...no armpit hair...swedish women without armpit hair?
Woman: 100% armpit hair free.
M: Now, are we talking 100% hair free? Or do they have stubble and stuff?
Woman: 100% hair free. The real deal.
The Technicians look at one another and each frantically grab for one of the woman's cards. She gives them both one and they look at her.
E: Your name is eshplefootna?
Woman: No, it's Essie, but it's actually pronounced Eshfoona. I'm from...aww hell, I can't remember where I'm from, but it was a cool place.
M: Cool as in cool? Or Cool as in cold?
M: Is that your final answer?
E: I'd like to phone a friend!
The woman walks away and the two look at one another.
E: Dude, we should do this. They'd pay us tons to walk around in clothes and get massages by hot swedes!
M: Yeah, but the guys would look at us like we were punks.
E: So! They'd just be jealous cause they didn't have hot blondes with big boobies touching all over them.
M: Tru dat!
E: That's my line poody!
M: Don't call me that.
E: What? Poody?
M: Yes. You know I hate it.
E: Gotcha poody.
M: Don't do it @#%$.
E: Whatever you say poody.
The Mechanic jumps out of his chair and screams. He grabs his drink and pulls the lid off. The Electrician jumps up and unwraps his sandwich. He shoves the sandwich into his mouth and takes off running. The Mechanic throws his arms in the air and gets drenched with soda as he forgot he had his in his hand.
M: F*ck! Wait up f*cker!
E (Distant, mouth full): No way poody!
The Mechanic runs after his brother and the shot switches outside. The Mechanic comes running out and the camera spins around to see him stop dead in his tracks behind the Electrician. The shot moves around in front of the Electrician just in time to see him spit his sandwich all over the ground. The camera spins around again to show a police officer placing something under the Electrician's windshield wiper.
E: What in sam hell are you doing poody?
Officer: You're illegally parked in a handicapped parking spot. This is a ticket, and I'm placing it under your windshield wiper. Know what that means? You got a ticket!
M: But...but...he's retarded!
The Mechanic walks around from behind his brother, knees touching one another, with his arms swinging freely at his sides.
M (slurred): What are you looking aaat?
E: Plus, don't you know who I am?
Seemingly mesmerized by the Mechanic's behavior, the officer takes a moment to reply.
Officer: Not really, and I could care less too.
The Electrician gets visually angry and picks up one of the potted plants sitting outside.
E: How about if I bash this over your head? Then would you know? Maybe give you a couple piledrivers...or maybe apply the Crossed Wires?
Officer: Wait...did you say Crossed Wires?
E: Indeed I did poody.
Officer: My name's Mike, not poody.
E: Aight poody.
Mike: Anyway, if you said Crossed Wires, I know who you are.
E: I already told you once I said Crossed Wires.
The Mechanic stumbles over to the officer and stares up at him with bright eyes. He begins to tug at the officer's sleeve, but the officer doesn't take his eyes off the Electrician.
E: I am indeed the man you are thinking of.
Mike: Darth Borac?
E: How dare you!
M: Frank and beens.
Mike: What the hell?
Mike reaches his hand over and touches his arm. He pulls back a wet hand and looks down at the Mechanic, who is drooling all over his uniform. The officer slaps the Mechanic, who immediately falls to the ground holding his foot screaming.
E: POLICE BRUTALITY!!!
Mike: Give me a break, the Mechanic has got more...
E: A HA! You do know who we are!
Mike: Duh! Who doesn't!? You guys are the BLPW Tag Champions!
E: Mech, quit picking your nose, he knows who we are.
M: Sh*t! You mean I put on that whole act for nothing? I've almost got it down to the "t".
M: That sucks.
E: So, what can I do to get out of this ticket?
Mike: Sign some autographs real quick?
M: What about me?
Mike: If you insist.
The Technicians get pens and begin to sign papers and hand them to the officer. They finish signing all the papers, and the officer gets back in his car. He bids them adieu, and leaves. The Technicians then get in the humvee and take off.
The scene returns to reveal the Technicians sitting in their apartment. They are chatting about "What the life of a cockroach is like" as a small Rat Terrier runs in the room and jumps up on the Electrician's lap.
E: Puck! You little nut-licker, what are you doing?
M: It kills me how he shows everyone his nuts!
E: Yeah. Did I tell you about when Krista came over and he was humping the couch?
E: Yeah, he was humping the couch and I kicked him in the nuts. He whipped around real quick like he was going to bite me, but saw that it was me and tried to roll over and show me his nuts, but fell back-first off the couch. You're such a retard aren't you boy?
The dog lets out a minor yip, and wags his tail. The Electrician scratches behind his ear and then Puck jumps out of the chair and runs into the other room. He returns moments later with a portion of the previously-ripped boxers in his mouth. The Mechanic looks at Puck very strangely.
M: Well, he's obviously got more balls than either of us. Especially if he can hold those things in his mouth after they touched your special places.
Puck jumps on the Mechanic's lap and then releases his grip on the boxers. He jumps down to the floor and looks at the Mechanic. He looks at the part of the boxers, then back
M: Get this sh*t off me! You are crazy if you think I'm gonna touch them, let alone throw them!
The Electrician stands up and grabs the portion of the boxers. He starts to walk away, but Puck runs and jumps, grabbing the portion of the boxers again and takes off with them. The Electrician opens his hand wide and acts like he's going to smack Puck. Puck immediately rolls over onto his back and spreads eagle, the boxers still in his mouth.
E: I don't want to see your nuts ya lil' f*cker! Put 'em away!
Puck jumps up and runs away. The Electrician gives chase, leaving the Mechanic alone. The Mechanic looks into the camera, takes a drink of a new soda from Sobe called Mr. Green, and then begins to speak.
M: Heh.... we're so gonna win.
The pitter-patter and a bell ringing can be heard in the background, followed by the entire apartment shaking. The Electrician, looking down, runs behind his brother, screaming.
E: GIVE 'EM TO ME!
The Electrician runs into the other room and the Mechanic continues speaking as if he didn't even notice.
M: Oh yes, we will so totally win. Kick ass we will.
The Electrician runs past the Mechanic in the background, still chasing Puck.
E: Dammit! Give them up!
M: Yep, we're gonna win for sure.
The Mechanic stands up and walks into the back room. Some talking can be heard and a moment later the Electrician appears. He sits down in the chair that he was previously sitting in and looks at the camera. He takes a deep breath and begins to speak.
E: Okay, listen up you filthy, over-rated, sorry excuses for inflated dog testicles. I'm sick of it all basically. You get the distinct opportunity to wrestle with the big boys, and you all ready think you own the Tag Titles. Basically, what I'm trying to say, is we're so gonna win!
The Electrician looks at the clock just as his brother walks into the room. They look at each other.
E: Slathering billycrickets!! It's damn near seven! We were supposed to meet the girls at six thirty!
M: Dammit all to hell!
E: We better go!
M: Umm... yeah.
The Technicians jolt out of the room as the scene fades to black.