E: Not much to eat around here. If we don't find the lines pretty soon, we may starve to death. Or worse... the oompa-loompa's might find us. We can't let that happen.
The Electrician looks up as he hears a rat squeak. Then he looks back to the camera.
E: It may not be much, or that tasty, but we have to keep our strength up.
The Electrician pulls a blow-gun out from seemingly nowhere. He belly-crawls his way over towards the rats scurrying on the other side of the building until he's about 30 yards from them. He quietly loads the blowgun, then props up his elbows and takes aim. When one of the rats pauses momentarily... FFFFFFFFFFT! The blow-gun dart whips through the air and nails the rat right through the neck. The other rats scatter as the Electrician grabs the dead rat, then scurries back to the camera, which he thinks is another person. He holds the rat up with the dart still through its neck as blood begins to drain.
E: This is it... for now. We'll have to find a rabbit or something later, but this will do for now.
The Electrician pulls a book of matches from his pocket. But then it hits him... he has nothing to start a fire with. No paper, no wood, no nothing... just... well, nothing. The Electrician looks into the camera.
E: I know, I know, it's sick, and completely unsanitary... even unhealthy. But we have no other choice.
The Electrician removes the dart from the rat and then uses a knife to skin the rat. He then cuts up what little meat is on its bones, and divides it in half. He tosses one half in front of the camera.
E: Dig in.
The Electrician tilts his head back, closes his eyes and plugs his nose, then holds the meat up. Just as he's about to drop it in his mouth, Emily and a camera crew come waltzing in the door. The Electrician drops his mouth, sheaths the knife, and pulls out his wood lathe sword. He stands up and charges at them. The camera crew jets out of there, but Emily is just now realizing what's going on, and before she can turn and run in those high heels and mini-skirt, the Electrician has tackled her to the ground and has her arms pinned to the cold concrete floor.
E: What are you doing here?!
Emily: (in a shaky, somewhat frightened voice) I... I just dropped by to get your thoughts on your match with Shawn Sanders this week.
E: What!?! This is a very dangerous area! I'm surprised the oompa-loompa's didn't capture you! They patrol this area regularly!
E: Nevermind... let's get back to camp, then we'll talk.
The Electrician stands and pulls Emily to her feet, then keeps low as he leads her back to the spot where the camera he "saved" earlier in the week is. He sits Emily down and then sheathes his sword as he sits down across from Emily.
E: So what did you want?
Emily: Shawn Sanders... he's your opponent at this week's Epic.
E: Do I really look like I have time to worry about Epic? Yeah, I'll be there if I can ever get to the arena! Right now my biggest cocern is getting back across the line.
Emily: What are you talking about?
E: Wait a minute... you must show me how you got across enemy lines! If you got in without getting caught, then you can get out without getting caught! And that means you can take us with you!
Emily: Uhm... who's us?
E: Me and him! (points to the camera) He got trapped a couple of days ago.
Emily: Well... okay, let's go then.
E: NO! We must wait for cover of darkness. Until then, we remain here!
Emily: Uhh... okay. So while we're waiting... what are your thoughts about Shawn Sanders? He thinks you're a joke.
E: Keep your voice down! They might hear you!
Emily: (now whispering) Oh, sorry. So what are your thoughts about him?
E: (as he looks around for the ever-so-evil oompa-loompa's) Personally, I couldn't really say. I never wrestled the guy, never even heard of him before I joined the BLPW. How can I hate or like a guy that I don't even know?
Emily: Good point. But he says that since you're one half of the BLPW Tag Champs, it just goes to prove how badly the BLPW Tag division is going down the crapper.
E: Every man is entitled to his own opinion, right?
Emily: Well, yeah, I guess... He also says that if Ryan O'Reilly were still around, they'd take the Tag Titles. Are you going to allow him to talk like that?
E: He thinks that me and my brother are a joke to the Tag division? Sh*t... at least we actually gave it our best when our chance arrived, and that proved to be a success. Maybe he should take a look at the Tag Champs before my brother and I came along. Those guys didn't even bother to show up until just before the match started, and they acted as though they didn't even care if they lost or not. Now that's a joke. My brother and I are proud to be the BLPW's Tag Champions. Besides, if Shawn Sanders and Ryan O'Reilly are so great a team, why did they lose to Disgruntled and Tony Chapel in the first place? Common sense tells me that if they are so damn good, they'd still be the Tag Champs.
Emily: I see. You know, I don't think he's taking you too seriously.
E: Good for him. I hope he's concerned with other things, because when I come out of nowhere and whoop his ass for the win, maybe he'll open his eyes a little bit and realize there's more to life than what he wants to b*tch about. I can remember one night when I was looking through the BLPW archives- just watching random tapes of Epic and pay per views as I enjoyed a cold beer, and you know, Shawn Sanders hasn't changed a single bit since the BLPW began. He was b*tching and moaning then, he's b*tching and moaning now. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that he was b*tching and moaning before the BLPW King of Philadelphia Tournament even went on-air!
Did the thought ever occur to him that if he'd just stop complaining for once, scratch his nuts and move on his with life, then maybe JC Micheals would stop f*cking with him? Probably not, because all he sees is that things aren't going his way right now. He wants to be the one to make all the decisions, he wants to be the one man that everybody's attention is focused on, he wants to be everything that the BLPW represents... he wants to be the BLPW Champion again. But he can't accept the fact that his turn is over, and it's time for a new generation of BLPW superstars to take charge and keep it alive. Hell, the man still has a standing record of the longest reigning Champion to date- and he's still b*tching! Sure, others have held the title since he has, but there's not a one of them that's been able to hold on to it as long as he has! And you mean to tell me that he doesn't realize that he is the best right now?
Emily: Uhm... sure.
E: No, he's no longer the champion; but when it comes to those that have held the title since Shawn has, none of them have been able to measure up! And I thought Ace Roberts was a bad sport! But it's obvious now that Ace was nothing compared to Shawn... Ace was a golden boy compared to Shawn. I take that back.... Shawn is no longer the best in the BLPW. He was, until he started his never ending piss and moan session. Now, he's just a washed up has-been.
Emily: Awesome. Hey, whadda ya know, you talked so long that it's dark out now!
E: Excellent. Now, show me the way.
Emily: Okay, let's go.
The two stand and the Electrician picks up the camera. He follows Emily, telling her to keep low, and can't help but enjoy the view as she does so- if you know what I mean. Emily leads him out the door of the warehouse. The Electrician takes a deep breath, then speaks in his normal tone.
E: Ahh... it's so nice to breath free air again.
Emily: Right. So let's get back to the arena, my car is there.
E: Okay. But first we have to go to the hospital, this man needs medical attention.
Emily just looks at the Electrician with that "That's absurd!" look on her face. Forgetting to unplug the camera, the screen cuts to fuzz when the two walk so far away the cord just tears out of the camera. That's a pay deduction for sure, 'cause them camera's ain't cheap ya know!