So shall it be written, so shall it be done... or something like that. The BLPW rookie, and newest resident redneck, Jovial Jake triumphed over J-BBER this past week at Epic. Not that he would've lost, after all, J-BBER is a jobber and what do jobbers do? They lose. Jake knows that... or at least he should know that... so it should come as no surprise that he's over that first win already. Beating jobbers is something everybody has done. It wasn't that big of a deal to Jake since it didn't really even give him the chance to showcase his abilities.

So what would be a big deal to Jake? The BLPW World Title? There's an idea... or how about the North American Title? It's possible. But who really knows besides Jake, right?

Hey, here's a wicked idea. Let's catch up to the "Rough-Housing Redneck" himself and find out!

The scene fades into view. The camera is focused on that mud-covered pick-up of Jake's, and as the camera zooms out we see Jake and Bill Ogilvy facing each other. Jake is dressed in tight denim jeans, a "BLPW Epic" tee shirt, along with his cowboy boots and hat, as expected. Bill is in his usual suit, and has a bit of chocolate smeared on his chin, which he is oblivious to.

Bill: Good afternoon to all you viewers out there. It's a mighty nice day out, wouldn't you agree? Mmm... I'm just loving all this sun!

The screen cuts to show an 8 year old boy watching TV. His parents are in the background and he appears angered when he sees Bill Ogilvy on the screen.

Boy: Oh shut-up fat ass! The only way you'd ever love the sun is if you ate it!

The parents in the background are stunned at their child's use of language, and we cut back to Jake and Bill.

Bill: I'm here with the BLPW's newest, Jovial Jake. *Bill turns to face Jake.* So Jake, what can you tell us about your first victory here in the BLPW?

Jake: Bill, first of all, why don't you wipe that gunk off yer chin? Ya can't look good if ye ain't gonna try.

Bill wipes his chin with his hand and looks at it. Seeing the chocolate residue on his palm, he pulls a tissue out of his pocket and wipes his chin and hand clean, then stuffs the tissue back in his pocket.

Jake: You savin' that fer later?

Bill: Well... no.

Jake: Then why don't ye toss that in the trash can that's right behind ye?

Bill turns around and sees the trash can. A bit of an embarrased look comes across his face, and he tosses the tissue in the trash can. He turns back to face Jake.

Bill: I apologize for that. It was incredibly rude of me.

Jake: It's okay Bill. Y'all city folk just don't know what manners are. It ain't yer fault.

Bill: *clears his throat* Right. Anyway, as I was saying, what can you tell us about your first victory?

Jake: Well... what do ye wanna know about it?

Bill: Well, why don't you tell us how you felt about it?

Jake: How I felt about it? Ha ha ha... Bill, it was against a jobber in case you didn't know. There weren't no pahticular way to feel about it. Everybody's beaten the jobbers. It's old news.

Bill: Uhm... okay. Next question then. What are your thoughts about finally making it to the big time?

Jake: Well I gotta say Bill, it's a rush. Even though we all knew how my debut match was gonna turn out, I got quite the adrenaline rush when I stepped out in front of all them people. It was an amazing site.

Bill: I see. So you're nervous about it?

Jake: Bill, don't put words in my mouth. I said it was a rush, I didn't say I was nervous about doing it. I've been in front of a crowd a time er two before.

Bill: Which brings me to my next question. You used to be a professional bullrider, what convinced you to make the changeover?

Jake: Well Bill, my shoulder was crushed by a bull once. Nasty injury it was, and on my rope arm none the less. I tried to get back on a bull after recovering from that, but my shoulder just didn't have the strength it used to and bullriding is about like writing, you can only do it with one hand. Was watchin' wrastlin' on the TV one night and was motivated to give it a shot.

Bill: Intriguing. So let's move on to the future. What are your thoughts on facing Grant Keaton this week? He's still a BLPW rookie like yourself, but he now has two victories under his belt and much like our current World Champion, he used to be a fashion model.

Jake: Well, I'd have to say I can't quite understand how a guy goes from fashion modeling to professional wrastlin, but to each his own. I guess I'm just gonna have to give him a run for his money.

Bill: Do you really think you can? He's showing some excellent potential.

Jake: Well hell yes I can! He may be showing potential, but that don't mean he can't be beaten.

Bill: But he's got two victories under his belt! I might add that's twice as many as you have in the BLPW.

Jake: Two whole victories? You sure, Bill? I mean, two whole victories... that's a big number right there.

Bill: Yes, I'm sure! It's two victories we're talking about here! That's incredible!

Jake: Well color me brown and call me shit. Man o man... two wins? I don't stand a chance in hell. I just as well pack my bags.

Bill: Smart move Jake.

Jake laughs.

Jake: Bill... I don't think you understand that I'm not impressed.

Bill: Huh?

Jake: Two victories is hardly what I'd call a winning streak. If this Grant feller thinks he's got some kind of talent because he's won two matches, he needs a reality check.

Bill: So what do you have to say in response to his comment that you're nothing but some hillbilly from Texas?

Jake: First of all, I ain't from Texas. I'm from New Mexico, there's a difference. Secondly, I ain't no hillbilly. I'm a pure-bred cowboy. Hillbilly's are wanna-be cowboys, but they ain't got the guts to do it because they know they can't hack it. Being a cowboy ain't easy ye know.

Bill: And what about his implication that bullriding isn't hard to do?

Jake: Bill, do you think this Grant feller has ever ridden a bull?

Bill: Well, no, probably not?

Jake: Have you ever ridden a bull?

Bill: No.

Jake: Alright then, then neither of y'all knows what it takes to stay on that bull for the full eight seconds. I do, and it ain't nothin' close to easy. You're on top of an animal that weighs 8 times as much as you do, and he's a buckin' and a kickin' and raisin' hell, tryin' to get you off his back. If you don't hold on, he'll be trampling you quicker 'en you can say "shallow grave." And speaking from experience, that don't feel too good.

Bill: I see. So do you have any more to say to Mr. Keaton?

Jake: Sure do.

Jake takes the microphone from Bill and the camera focuses on him as he looks into it.

Jake: Grant, you can say all you want about me. You can call me all the names in the world, and it won't make a difference. Because words are just words. What makes the difference is inside the ring. You think you're some kinda good wrastler just because you've got a couple wins? Well if that's the case then I oughta be one of the best as well.

You don't really expect me to take yer entire two match winning streak seriously, do you? If you are then all yer doing is setting yerself up fer disappointment. I don't take this business too seriously at all, and I especially don't take seriously some former model that all he cares about is making sure he don't got a case of bed-head hair when he wakes up in the morning. I got better things to do with my time and if all yer concerned with is style and class and things of that sort, then it sounds to me like you need to go back to that runway. The only class you'll find among us real wrastlers is the class that kicks your ass; and believe me Grant, you keep up this "I'm the greatest" act of yers and you'll run into that class more often than you like. There ain't nothin' wrong with having an ego, but them ego's are only as good as the people that have 'em, and you, Grant, ain't that good. Now maybe you'd like to think yer that good, but the only thing that'll get ye is a seat on the bus back home when you've humiliated yerself too many times.

Now I don't know much about this televised wrestling stuff, I'll admit. But I do know what it takes inside the ring, and I've got it. No, not because I've got one win over a jobber; but because I've been in the ring fer a while now and I've had enough matches to know that it takes more than an ego if yer gonna make it. You on the other hand... we'll see if you got what it takes come Epic.

The scene fades into a commercial for Epic.